Salami. The chocolate one.

Yes. Salami made with chocolate. Don’t panic. This isn’t some weird medieval recipe involving pork or horse with chocolate for added interest. It is in fact a sort of fridge cake. There is almost no cooking involved beyond a bit of chocolate melting, so it’s very simple to assemble, and rather satisfying, as there’s a bit of biscuit bashing to relieve your tension.

Chocolate salami is definitely a thing in my family. My Nagymama (granny) used to make it for me, and later on my sisters, whenever we came to visit. And we did. Visit that is. Pretty much every summer during the 70s and 80s, our family would pack ourselves into the BMW, yes we were WELL posh, and then drive from Liverpool to Hungary. Yep. Drive. The whole way. Of course it was mandatory to set off at least twice, get to the Runcorn bridge and then turn back because something vital, say my passport or my mother’s lighter had been forgotten. We would drive down to Suffolk, call in to visit the maternal grandparents and then take a ferry across to the Hook of Holland. We only ever went via Holland. My father had a weird aversion to the French. No idea why but he resisted travelling through or to France at all costs. I suspect it had something to do with it being one of the languages he didn’t speak (the others being Hungarian, English, Russian, German and Italian) but he also used to mutter a lot about Napoleon.

Ironically, French was the secondary language for many older Hungarians, including my nagy and it was the language she used to communicate with my mother. It had been the language of the court, and many upper class families (told you we were posh) would learn French. Nagyi was born in 1900, when Hungary was still part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and a bit of a powerhouse around Europe. She spoke French beautifully and as my mother was brought up in a Swiss boarding school (again, POSH), she also spoke French. Hungarian is a very niche language. It has absolutely nothing in common with the rest of the languages of Europe except Finnish and even then that’s a bit of a stretch. My father visited Finland and said he felt as if he should understand the language being spoken there, the rhythms were right but the words were all wrong. Anyhow, I’ve gone off at a tangent. Back to the chocolate salami.

After three to four days (dependent upon whether or not we got lost in Germany, which we did, often) we would rock up at the family holiday flats at the Lake Balaton. Now, before anyone thinks villa, beautiful apartment etc, we are talking about being in Hungary in the mid 70s. Full on communism and the Iron Curtain. Brutalist Soviet architecture ruled and our family holiday flats were fine examples of the genre. Concrete blocks with weirdly orange smoked glass balconies, no lifts, basic drains, flickering lights, and each flat was in fact one room with a tiny bathroom. It was indoor camping. Definitely not glamping. But when you are only five, with a baby sister in tow, and there’s a sandpit, swings, a giant lake you can try to drown in, and everyone thinks you’re a total alien because red hair, freckles and the palest skin ever that went bright pink after a nanosecond on Hungarian soil, it’s kind of fun. And of course, Nagyi would be there, unrolling the chocolate salami and stuffing me with it. We spoke pidgin Hungarian together ( I still retain the vocabulary of a five year old), she would make dolls clothes for my Rosie and gave the best ever cuddles.

Recipe for Chocolate Salami

Melt 200g good dark chocolate with 90g unsalted butter & 90g icing sugar. Bash 180g of rich tea biscuits (they keep their crunch) – don’t use a processor, you want a mix of bits rather than powder. Add 80g of chopped roast hazelnuts. Mix well. Add 6 tbsp of milk and 2 tbsp (or more) of rum to the melted chocolate.

Hungarians are inordinately fond of rum – it appears in so many sweet recipes. No idea why, must look into that, possibly the Austrian influence. Of course Nagy didn’t tone down the rum for me or my sisters but as times have moved on, you may prefer to omit it if feeding children.

Add the crushed biscuits and nuts to the chocolate mix. Stir well. At this point it will look like rubble. Don’t be put off. Scoop out onto greaseproof paper and form into a rough log. Roll tightly and pop in the freezer to set. Takes about half an hour.

Unwrap, dust with icing sugar. Slice and eat. Keep in the fridge if you don’t eat it in one go. Which of course you wouldn’t…. Fabulous with a little shot of rum, an espresso or a cup of tea.